FAMILY LIFE: How to Keep the Christian Family Strong
There couldn’t be a better time for renewed focus on strengthening and celebrating the Christian family.
A whopping 78 percent of Americans identify as Christian, and after decades of unparalleled trials, triumphs and tests, we now know that regaining our stride as a community and a nation requires a reaffirmation of our faith and our beliefs. For African American Christians in particular, this couldn’t be closer to the truth.
OUR HISTORY, OUR PRESENT
Marriage, family, and generational ties were the foundations of our cultures in Africa. Even after being denied the right to marry during generations of slavery, our ancestors still got married and stayed married decades later, making historic strides during the Civil Rights Era.
Fast forward to the new millennium, however, and we’re now a generation that’s questioned our beliefs and traditions in favor of society’s trends and movements when it comes to faith, marriage, relationships, and child-rearing. By adopting:
- the permissiveness of the American ‘sexual revolution’,
- the materialism born in the 1980s, and
- the self-absorption which is characteristic of current generations – from the Baby Boomers (nicknamed the “Me” Generation) through the Millennials (the “Entitlement” Generation) –
we have been thrown off track, landing us in worse shape than our parents or even our grandparents. Where previous generations got married and stayed married, many of us today have chosen single life or divorce, allowing ourselves an “out” as soon as something goes wrong. We dissolve the marriage before fully understanding the benefits of enduring and transcending trials; adversely affecting our children, our health, our finances, and our communities.
But there’s no triumph without a trial (James 1:12), and if you’re ready to throw statistics out the window and breathe renewed life into your family and your future, it’s time to get back on track by:
1. Putting Christ at the center of your family life. The common denominator among strong civilizations is a common spiritual belief. Yet, while those of other faiths stand firm in their beliefs, we Christians have seen – and allowed – more challenges to our beliefs than any other religion. Ephesians 6:13 tells us to “put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and therefore after you have done everything, to stand.” As past generations have proven, the only way for us to thrive in an unstable society is to stand by the principles of our faith.
2. Putting the marriage first (Ephesians 5:22-32). When we travel by plane, one of the first things the flight attendants tell us is if the plane goes down, put on our own life support vest before helping others. The same goes for a marriage. The husband and wife – not career, money, possessions or even the children – are the core of the family. Show love and affection toward each other and attend to each others’ needs. Continue to grow as individuals and as a couple, and always keep your relationship new, exciting and alive. Joined by God, a husband and wife create a supernatural bond that knows no bounds. And the good news is, we’re not alone: marriage is on the rise !
3. Guarding your heart, mind, and ears (Philippians 4:8). Staying focused on the Word, using discernment when deciphering society’s trends, limiting media intake, and surrounding yourselves and your family with like-minded people are important ways to maintain strength and focus as a Christian family. For example, studies show that you’re 75 percent more likely to become divorced if you spend most of your time with friends and family who are divorced .
4. Preparing your children to serve (Mark 12:30-31). Cultivate their walk in their God-given purpose – not their wants or desires as promoted by society. Teach them the importance of giving back, and of becoming global citizens (read more on raising strong children here).
5. Doing things together as a family (Proverbs 22:6). Whether through meals, vacations, charitable and leisure activities, a family enterprise, or worship, spending quality time together as a family is key. As the saying goes, “The family that prays together, stays together .”
6. Having faith in faith. For centuries we’ve overcome trials by summoning faith in Christ. But in modern times, many have turned their backs on faith, thinking that we’ve somehow “evolved” beyond a need for Jesus’ strength. True strength is found in “walking the walk,” having the courage to live by your beliefs, and by being the first example of how your children should live. Being a Christian isn’t ‘weird,’ but very special (1 Peter 2:9).
7. Creating a ‘Vision Statement’ for your family (Habakkuk 2:2). Call a family meeting to create a mission statement together, and write down your process and your results. Having a mission statement keeps everyone focused on ultimate goals and the big picture, not the quick fix or the gamble. Another great idea is to adopt a family scripture, as the Bradley family discusses here.
8. Creating your “Village.” As the (Yoruba) African proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Multi-generational families are making a comeback. We honor the wisdom of the elders to keep us firmly rooted in our faith, our traditions, and our past triumphs, as well as to project a vision for our future. Your village may include trusted friends and your church family, as well as blood relatives. Put the well-being of the family first while setting limits. Discipline is a biblical principle (Proverbs 13:24); allow the wisdom of God to protect your family.
The truth is, marriage and family are central themes in the Christian faith, and they’re also symbolic of the church. To each other, we are “brethren,” “fathers,” “brothers,” “sisters,” and as a unit, we are the “household of faith” (Galatians 6:10).
By far, more people claim Christianity as their faith than any other religion, yet no other faith on earth has experienced the level of challenges – or triumphs – that belief in the power of Jesus has. Work hard to maintain your focus on faith, and believe that the strength of your marriage and your family is one of God’s secret weapons of prosperity.
SCRIPTURAL REFERENCES: 1 Peter 2:9, Deuteronomy 18:9, Jeremiah 10:2, Joshua 24:15, Ephesians 4:5-7, 5:22-32, 6:13; Galatians 6:10, James 1:12, Proverbs 22:6, 13:24; Habakkuk 2:2, 1 Peter 2:9, Mark 12:30-31.
 – Father Patrick Peyton.
Did you know?
• Christians are the largest religious group in the world and comprise 33% of the world’s population.
• The common belief that “50% of all marriages end in divorce” is a myth. Origins: In 1979, during a time when new ideas and movements like Women’s Liberation and the Sexual Revolution began to hit their peak, the number of divorces peaked at 47 percent of the number of marriages performed that year. However, the number did not reflect the millions of marriages which had endured through previous generations.
• Grandparents’ Day is celebrated in September.
CELEBRATE FAMILY with West Angeles! The West Angeles Counseling Center conducts classes on parenting, marriage and more. Visit the West Angeles Counseling Center‘s page HERE, and please call (323) 737-7463 to set up your session today. You do not have to be a West Angeles member!