We all have those days in our lives that live in infamy.
For me, the most infamous is March 14, 2014, the day I learned my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
It was the weakest day of my life. My thoughts were uncontrollable, as were my tears. It still stings to look back at that day, reimagining my feelings realizing that my mother would have to battle with this terrible disease.
But personally, there was a silver lining in that day, a moment that occurred between me and God…I never asked Him why.
For much less worse circumstances, I’ve always wanted to know WHY. Why is this happening? Why me? Why did You do this to me?
But in the worst moment imaginable for my immediate family, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I never questioned Him. There were only prayers. There was only hope for healing. There was only trust.
Never have I had to lean so much on the Lord, because never had I felt so helpless. But it was during this time that I realized God would bless me with strength through the same vessel in which he had used forever: my mom.
Looking back, it’s remarkable to think that she was the one calling me every day, asking how I’m dealing with her sickness. She was the one that told me not to cry, that told me it would be okay, when I should have been the one comforting her.
I believe that during this trial, God set out to show me the true meaning of strength, using my mom as a glowing example. I also believe He set out to teach my family and me a lesson in trust, that no matter what we are faced with, there is a path to overcoming it…and it starts and ends with Him!
A short time after her diagnosis, my mom began undergoing her chemotherapy. Shortly after, she lost all of her hair. And it was hard to see that. It felt sad to look at her, knowing the energy it took for her to still act like herself, for the sake of making sure I was okay and that her grandchildren didn’t realize their grandma was sick. It was like she was working three jobs: her office job, making sure the family stuck together, and fighting the cancer.
And that wasn’t fair to her…but she did it. And I felt like my mom was the most powerful woman on earth.
A few months later, she underwent a double mastectomy procedure in hopes of removing the cancer completely.
A short time after that, she called me with the news that the procedure was successful. Her cancer was completely gone.
And if I ever had a question as to whether God is good before, on that day, all doubt and worry left my mind. I trust in Him like no other and that trust will never be broken.
That, my friends, is the silver lining in suffering.
Today, as we celebrate another Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my mom has been cancer-free for nearly four years. And although we rarely talk about those difficult times, we haven’t forgotten them. I know because there is a tone of gratitude in my mother’s thoughts and actions, and my own thoughts and actions.
If there is anyone out there going through a similar struggle, my advice is this: Be mad! Let your emotions flow. Holler, scream and ask questions.
But at the end of the day, separate what you feel from what is real. And what is real is God.
He will bring you through this.
Here are 8 bible verses about trusting in God when the prognosis on your life isn’t what you want it to be:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
James 1:6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
Psalm 145:18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
Philippians 4:17 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.